The Deciding Decade

---

If your 30s are not what you imagined them to be and you're not sure why, you're in the right place.  If you're taking a few steps forward and an equal or greater number of steps backward, you're in the right place. If you know you're capable of being, doing and having more, but you can't explain why you're not, you're in the right place. 

Take a slow deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth. 

What you're experiencing is called DIVINE DISCONTENT and it's actually normal. It's happening because your "identity" and your authenticity are misaligned. They don't know each other. Basically, the you that has been trying to live according to what's acceptable is bumping heads with the part of you that is real, but doesn't feel free to exist, let alone thrive. The battle is coming to a head now, in your 30s, because while your identity is settling in for the long haul, your authenticity is trying to emerge. Left unchanged, the woman you are in your 30s is the woman you'll be in your 40s.  Still no change? She then becomes the woman you'll be in your 50s, who informs who you are in your 60s -  and  so forth and so on - until your journey ends with you essentially living your whole life as an unfulfilled version of yourself.  

Without changing your life, the only thing in it that changes is time. 

See, by the time you're 35, ninety five percent of your identity has been formed and is largely a set of deeply ingrained, subconscious programs—a collection of memorized behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs that are automatically running, and informing how you move through life. They're primarily the result of your childhood experiences and the messaging you received from parents, relatives, teachers, society. 

Now that you're in your 30s, if your "identity" is not a true reflection of who you really are at your core, it's beginning to feel heavy because it doesn't actually fit. Especially if maintaining your "identity" requires people-pleasing, dimming your light, suppressing your truth, and being a version of yourself that's acceptable to others but exhausting to you.

You're also exhausted because the  plans you had for your 30s aren't panning out. Breathe. Self-sabotage and procrastination are showing up more often than you'd like. Breathe. You're doubting yourself, criticizing yourself and generally wondering whether you missed the memo on how to thrive in your 30s.  Breathe. 

You thought this part of your life would be different. You thought it would be better. You don't know why it's not. Breathe. 

There's nothing wrong with you. 

Most women in their 30s will struggle through this decade trying their best to figure it out. They will experience temporary moments where things feel cool. They will even achieve some goals that feel somewhat satisfying and socially acceptable. HOWEVER, without engaging, understanding and rewiring the 95 percent that formed their identity, they will not create the life they're meant to live,  the life they know they're capable of embodying, the life that is the truest reflection of who they really are. Without releasing their "identity" and creating space for their authentic self, they will normalize the increasingly hollow pit in their gut that cannot be filled with girls' trips, Sunday brunches or looking stunning on social media. They might be able to imagine the success they know they're capable of, but they will never fully actualize it because their "identity" has them working from an outdated playbook. 

It doesn't have to be that way. In fact, I know unequivocally that it's not meant to be. 

I created The Deciding Decade because I remember my 30s. I remember how hard they were. I remember that I started waking up but because I didn't know what I didn't know, the battle between my identity and my authentic self started at around 35, picked up steam in my 40s, and continued duking it out, decade after exhausting decade.  I'm now 62, totally aligned with my authenticity and living a life that I love.  While I don't regret my journey, its purpose is bigger than me. I don't believe in the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" thing. What good does that do me? I could not have known then, what I know now, but that doesn't mean you can't. I've figured it out and I'm determined to share all I've discovered about maximizing this deciding decade with women who can actually  use it - women in their 30s determined to create a life they love.  

In addition to the app, I'm also writing a new book that spells it all out. The Deciding Decade will be released on my mother's birthday. Quite significant, not just to honor my girl, but to recognize her impact on the woman I am. She transitioned at 38 and her journey is an integral aspect of what I've discovered about a woman's 30s. 

Listen to the Overcome Self-Sabotage private podcast if you're ready to finally understand.

You're capable. You’ve done so much to improve your life. And yet… somehow, it still feels like you’re treading water. You keep setting goals, getting momentum, and then—something pulls you back. Something invisible. Something internal. 

It’s not laziness. It’s not lack of willpower. It’s self-sabotage — and it’s rooted in the 95% of your subconscious patterns that were formed long before you knew you had a choice.

The Overcoming Self-Sabotage private podcast will help you understand:

• Why you keep looping back to the same emotional, financial, or relational patterns
• How childhood conditioning quietly drives your adult decisions
• The neuroscience behind your habits — and how to rewire them
• The simple, practical tools to get out of your own way — for good

Because once you understand the “why,” you can finally create the how. Your 30s are your Deciding Decade.

This is where you stop fighting yourself — and start freeing yourself.

8 transformative episodes.

One powerful realization: You are not broken. You are simply ready to reprogram your power.

Your breakthrough starts the moment you press play. 

There comes a time in every life when we begin to sense the quiet weight of choice—the realization that what we decide now will shape who we become next. The Deciding Decade is an exploration of that sacred space between what was and what’s possible.

This upcoming book invites you to pause, reflect, and step boldly into the power of intentional living. It’s about choosing authenticity over approval, growth over comfort, and peace over perfection. 

Weaving in my worthiness wisdom, the book is shaping up to become an anthem for women of all ages, but especially for those currently navigating their deciding decade. 

Each page offers powerful insight and soulful guidance for navigating the seasons of change with grace, courage, and self-trust. Whether you’re entering a new decade of life or simply ready for a new beginning, The Deciding Decade will remind you that  it's always the right time to choose yourself.

Your future is being written with every decision you make. Let it be honest. Let it be brave. Let it be yours. Stay tuned for reflections, early excerpts, and announcements about the accompanying Deciding Decade workshop series.